I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
