id be glad to
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
