If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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