Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
