my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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