all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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