he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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