You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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