i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
