Midget sex pt 2 tonight
kristin has been a bad kristin
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
