Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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