The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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