i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
