they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
