I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i would punch a child for taco bell
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
