peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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