im six kinds of drunk right now
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize