ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
