so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
