Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
