WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
