I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
