i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she pinky promised me she was 18
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
