Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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