one might say we're banned from that church
are you so shy because you have an std?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
