you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
