i don't like sucking hair
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it glows. i had to have it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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