Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
