wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
