just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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