I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
