home. puking in laundry basket.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
