If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize