And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
