YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
