if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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