Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
