Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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