It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
