It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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