bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
