i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
