I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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