omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
