they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
