Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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