Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
