Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
