That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
