I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
