Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
