my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
