Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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