i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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