He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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