He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
