you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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