just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
