I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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