I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We don't watch enough power rangers
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize