Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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