my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize