question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
