Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
